Dear Lord...

Dear Lord! If you are really there,
You know the answers that they don't.
So may I ask you? Do I dare?
Why do I have to carry on?

Sometimes birth can be a mistake,
Sometimes living is a crime,
Sometimes death is the only way
When all you deserve is to die.

Well, isn't it a privilege -
To die when you are still so young?
No wrinkles, no senility,
Your damned life has just begun!
Won't loathe reflection of your face,
Will feel no envy of the youth,
Forever young to all your "friends"...
It sounds so awful but it's truth!

Can they imagine how it feels
To have such dark thoughts in your head?
These thoughts and feelings you can't share
Cos they would never understand.
Why can't you live a normal life,
Look in the future, make your plans?
You're not a prophet, but you know:
You'll always be an outcast...

When your existence makes no sense,
When seasons make no difference,
They come and go, but things don't change;
You're only free in your own cage.

You're glad when nobody's around,
Resigned yourself to pain and fear,
Immersed and lost in virtual world,
In which no-one should interfere...

(Written 05.01.2007)