Friday, January 5, 2007
Dear Lord...
Dear Lord! If you are really there,
You know the answers that they don't.
So may I ask you? Do I dare?
Why do I have to carry on?
Sometimes birth can be a mistake,
Sometimes living is a crime,
Sometimes death is the only way
When all you deserve is to die.
Well, isn't it a privilege -
To die when you are still so young?
No wrinkles, no senility,
Your damned life has just begun!
Won't loathe reflection of your face,
Will feel no envy of the youth,
Forever young to all your "friends"...
It sounds so awful but it's truth!
Can they imagine how it feels
To have such dark thoughts in your head?
These thoughts and feelings you can't share
Cos they would never understand.
Why can't you live a normal life,
Look in the future, make your plans?
You're not a prophet, but you know:
You'll always be an outcast...
When your existence makes no sense,
When seasons make no difference,
They come and go, but things don't change;
You're only free in your own cage.
You're glad when nobody's around,
Resigned yourself to pain and fear,
Immersed and lost in virtual world,
In which no-one should interfere...
(Written 05.01.2007)
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4 comments:
I love your poetry, it remains me some period of time during which I have had same thoughts and feelings.
Let the sun will come out the clouds and worm us, fulfill with joy and love to life.
Thank you so much, I really feel happy that you liked it. Could you tell smth more about that period of yours?
Sorry for delay, memories take a lot of time… It was…Well, I was an outcast in one collective, where I have been forced to stay for several years, every day has been a torture... I felt that I’m not like the others, some kind of ugly mutant, who doesn’t deserve to be loved. I hated myself, have had no private life, no support in family, no truely friends - just endless deep depression, total loneliness and the only wish of death.
I understand. It's exactly what I've been feeling for all my life...
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